


Feel Your Skin on Mine

by FeralG4, HuntersMoon47



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-15
Updated: 2019-03-08
Packaged: 2019-08-02 16:31:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16308737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FeralG4/pseuds/FeralG4, https://archiveofourown.org/users/HuntersMoon47/pseuds/HuntersMoon47
Summary: Three years earlier a quarian woman got rescued by a dashing commander who let her join his crew and go off to save the galaxy. They'd become friends, confidants, companions. But she'd been to naive, too shy to tell him how she'd really felt.And then she'd watched him die.Or so she thought. Until he showed up, alive, two years after watching the cold abyss of space take him.She thought she'd mourned him; thought she'd moved on, but seeing him standing in front of her again, hearing his voice again, brings back all the old feelings.  And a whole slew of new ones.Pulled between loyalties to her people, her father, and her commnader, can Tali sort through her emotions, doubts, and hopes to find the courage to finally tell Shepard how she feels?





	1. Gabriel

**Author's Note:**

  * For [FeralG4](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FeralG4/gifts).



> This is my first work done by request and it's been a super fun challenge. Thanks, FeralG4, for the request, the ideas, and the patience!

He knew staring in the mirror wouldn’t change anything but he kept doing it anyway. Every day cycle. Every night cycle. He’d stare in the mirror, hoping against all odds that he’d find answers. It was kind of his thing, he supposed - hoping against all odds. He should be used to it by now. Somehow, though, it was different facing yourself than it was an outside enemy. 

Blue, almond-shaped eyes stared back at him. Those at least were familiar. Blue instead of brown like those of his Cherokee ancestors. They were his mother’s eyes. She’d been only half Cherokee - one of the few without full Cherokee blood on Mindor. His people had worked for generations to restore the Cherokee culture and bloodline. When they left Earth for Mindor to continue their work, only a handful of non-Cherokee came with. Not that it mattered; they were all dead now. All except for him. 

Maybe.

Commander Gabriel Shepard sighed and pushed himself off of the sink where he’d been leaning. He knew he should stop doing this, but he kept his eyes on the mirror. He looked like himself; looked like he matched the photo in his dossier - six feet, five inches tall; two hundred and fifty pounds, give or take some lost muscle mass; golden skin; broad face with a square jaw, wide chin, high cheekbones, and a large nose. The first thing he’d done after settling in on the new Normandy was to cut his hair the way he’d worn it for years - shaved closed to his head on the sides and longer on the top in a modern imitation of the ancient Cherokee mohawk-like hairstyle. It was one of the few vestiges of a lost culture that he clung to. Every once in a while, he’d braid the glossy black locks as his people had hundreds of years earlier. 

The only thing that marred his physical features were the glowing orange scars scattered all over his body. His old battle wounds and tattoos were gone, the blemishes he carried now a constant reminder that he was probably just as much cybernetics now as he was flesh. And that was part of the problem. 

Gabe wasn’t sure how he could be himself if he was so much of something else. 

The thought finally prompted him to pull his gaze away from the mirror. He’d gotten no more reassurances from this staring session than he had any of the ones before. Less even, after Horizon. 

He growled with frustration as he pulled the towel off his waist and rubbed his hair dry with more vigor than was necessary. 

Fucking Horizon.

Gabe dropped the towel on the floor and rummaged through his wardrobe for clothes. 

Fucking Ashely.

She’s always driven him crazy. Even when they were together. So damned narrow-sighted sometimes. So damned stubborn. So damned confusing. 

_ We had something, Shepard. Something real. I loved you.  _

The only thing clean in the wardrobe was a pair of gym shorts. He’d forgotten to do laundry again. With another frustrated growl, he pulled them on without underwear and skipped a t-shirt - those were all dirty too - and then sat on the edge of the bed to pull on a pair of trainers. He needed to go to the gym. 

Among the list of things he didn’t understand at the moment, Ashley’s claim that she’d loved him was pretty high up there. They’d spent their time on the Normandy with clear attraction, but constantly at one another’s throats about aliens, God, what shotgun was better in low-gravity atmos - you name it. After Ilos and defeating Saren, they’d tried to make it work. But Ashely was angry that Shepard had sacrificed human ships for the Council. Though the words had never been spoken before the ship was blown to bits, they were done weeks before Gabe died. 

_ I loved you. I thought you were dead. How could you put me through that? Why didn’t you try to contact me? Why didn’t you let me know you were alive?  _

Gabe shook his head and headed for the elevator. Apparently being the great Commander Shepard, Hero of the Skillian Blitz, Savior of the Citadel, also carried the expectation that he could communicate while being held in a coma in a Cerberus lab while being resurrected from death. He punched the button for the engineering deck, the quite of the elevator allowing Ash’s comments to continue to roll through his head. 

_ You’re with Cerberus now? I can’t believe the reports were right.  _

The doors opened to the engineering deck before Shepard realized what he’d done. It had been just a couple of weeks for him; just a handful of days since he could come down here after a bad mission and talk to Tali. She’d ramble on about the drive core, or some engineering marvel about the Normandy until he was ready to talk about the day. It was a different kind of debriefing. Deeper than the ones he held in the comm room and the reports he submitted to the Alliance. Tali always wanted to know how he’d  _ felt  _ about the mission. Wanted to know and never judged. 

Feeling like he’d been punched in the gut for at least the tenth time that day, Gabe pressed the button for the shuttle bay and the new gym. His friendship with Tali had been another point of contention with Ashley; a big one. Especially toward the end, when Gabe would have far more preferred to hang out in engineering than be around Ash and have another fight about his choices in the Battle of the Citadel. He carried enough guilt for the lives lost there - on top of the guilt he still carried from the Blitz - he didn’t need her questioning him every time they were alone.

Gabe sighed with relief when he saw the gym was empty. It was small, but state of the art, tucked into the back corner of the shuttle bay. He’d requisitioned a sparring droid from Miranda the day he got on the ship - one that could be programmed to mix the martial arts of several species and cultures. Fighting, picking up new styles, was one of the few hobbies he’d maintained throughout his whole life.  He was an expert in several human forms of martial arts - Muay Thai, Capoeira, Taekwondo, Hapkido, Krav Maga, Aikido, Jeet Kune Do, Brazilian Jiujitsu. It was one of the only things that had kept him sane in the years following the batarian raid on the Mindor; the raid that had taken all of his family and his people from him. On the SR-1, he’d learned Turian fighting styles from Garrus.

_ I wanted to believe you were alive. I just never expected anything like this.  _

Garrus hadn’t questioned it was really him. He’d just known, just trusted Gabe was himself. They’d been close on the SR-1. In fact, Gabe counted the Turian among his best friends - him and Tali. The fact that he didn’t count Ashley as part of the group should have been telling enough, even back then. 

_ How could you turn your back on all of us? You betrayed the Alliance, Anderson; you betrayed me? _

He’d been too shocked to be pissed. Then, at least. Now he took his frustration out on the droid, the mech getting in more hits than it should have. Gabe was distracted. 

_ I’d like to believe you, Shepard. But I don’t trust Cerberus. And it worries me that you do.  _

He was Cerberus. And he sure as shit didn’t trust them. If she’d known him at all, she would know that. 

_ What did they do to you? What if they’re behind it? What if they’re the ones working with the Collectors?  _

As if Gabe didn’t ask himself that every day, every mission, every time he swallowed a new piece of information from Miranda or the Illusive Man. 

_ Maybe you feel like you owe Cerberus because they saved you. Maybe it’s you. I still know where my loyalties lie. _

He didn’t owe Cerberus anything. He was here because he had no other option. The Alliance didn’t want him back and the Council didn’t want him in Citadel Space. He caused too much trouble; raised too many questions about the story they’d constructed about Saren and the Battle of the Citadel while he was dead for two years. The Reapers were still out there and Cerberus were the only ones willing to listen, the only ones willing to help him. If Ashely knew him at all, she shouldn’t be surprised he was taking whatever route available to him to stop the Reapers. He was mostly a straight-shooter. But if it came down to saving lives, to saving lives, and following the rules, he’d go rouge every time. 

Every hit he landed and took shook his body, painful and satisfying at the same time. The droid was good. It mixed styles, speeds, force. It demanded that he paid attention. Which was a problem right now, remembering his response to Ash as painful and satisfying as the hits he was taking. 

_ You’re right. You’re loyalties always were to the Alliance, to humans, over everything else. Even if they were wrong. Even if they spent the last two years lying about Saren and the Reapers and me. Loyal to them despite them betraying everything we fought Saren for; despite Kaiden sacrificing himself; despite me getting spaced. You can keep your fucking loyalties while the rest of us try to keep the galaxy from getting destroyed. Let me know how it works out for you.  _

She’d stared at him, mouth gaping, unshed tears shimmering in her eyes. She’d balked when he mentioned Kaiden; when he mentioned getting spaced. He’d hit her where it hurt. When he was less angry, he’d be sorry. For now, though, his anger simmered deep in his chest as the droid landed a hit across his face. 

With a shout, Gabe unleased a series of blows on the droid. Normally, it would have put the doid on its heels. But he wasn’t normal now. He was augmented with cybernetics. He was a biotic.

The droid when flying across the room and slammed into the wall. There was a loud crunch, a few sparks, and the droid fell to the droid fell the ground where it lay motionless. Gabe straight and ran a hand through sweaty hair.

“Goddamnit,” he said. There was a dual-toned chuckle behind him and Gabe turned to see  Garrus leaning against the door jam. 

“Miranda is not going to be happy about that,” his friend said, pushing himself straight and walking into the room. “Me either. That was the only thing I could train with on this ship without worrying about tearing it to shreds. Thanks a lot.”

Gabe snorted and walked over to the cabinet in the corner and pulled out a towel. 

“We’ll get a new one. I’ve been told that Cerberus will spare no expense to make me happy,” he wiped the sweat from his face. “Might as well milk it for all it’s worth before we have to high-tail it out of here.”

“Good to hear we share the same expectation of inevitable betrayal by our hosts,” Garrus said. His words were casual, but Gabe knew Garrus well enough to know that he was prodding for some answers. 

“I know who these people are, Garrus. I died. I didn’t become an idiot. Despite what some may think.”

Garrus hesitated. 

“She was out of line, Shepard. What she said about you betraying us, the Alliance. It isn’t true. Even if she can’t see it yet.”

Gabe chose a spot on the wall and stared at it, swallowing hard. Now that he had nothing to beat the shit out of, the emotions were rising. Silence hung between them for several long moments before Gabe was able to speak past the lump in his throat. 

“How did you know it was me?” He asked, his eyes flickering back to his friend. “On Omega, you didn’t hesitate, you didn’t question. You just...knew it was me.”

“Um...well, it was a couple of things.” Garrus gestured at his visor. “This was a big one. It tracks and logs movements of every person I see. It identified you the moment I saw you on the bridge.” 

“And the other thing?” Gabe pushed. Garrus shifted his weight from foot to foot, clearly uncomfortable.

“Listen, it’s gonna sound weird...it’s just...it’s a Turian, thing, okay?

“Garrus, what?”

“Your smell,” Garrus said quietly. Gabe almost laughed until he realized Garrus was serious. 

“What now?”

“I told you, you’d think it was weird,” Garrus said, defensively. “But Turians have a significantly better sense of smell than humans. We live a lot of our lives in our armor, so recognizing a person’s smell is how we recognize one another a lot of the time. I knew it was really you - not just some copy - because you smelled...right.”

Gabe stared at Garrus for a while. 

“And that smell couldn’t be replicated if I were a clone?” He finally asked. Garrus shook his head. 

“Hormones, sweat, what soaps you use - they all interact to create a specific type of smell. Some of them are different now - you’re using different soap to wash and your cybernetics give you a more metallic scent. But the baseline stuff, it’s all still there.”

Gabe shook his head, chuckling. 

“You’re right,” he said. “It’s weird.”

Garrus snorted. 

“You asked.”

“Now I kinda wish I hadn’t.”

“Listen, Shepard,” Garrus started after another pause. “You’re probably my best friend in this whole messed up galaxy. If I didn’t believe you weren’t you, I’d tell you. Maybe not back in the day, but now...I’ve been through too much in the last two years. I wouldn’t fuck around with this. If I wasn’t sure I couldn’t trust you, I wouldn’t be here.”

Gabe stared up at the Turian, his ice blue eyes intense and serious. A sense of relief settled in Gabe’s chest. With a sigh, he clapped Garrus on the shoulder. 

“Thanks, man,”  he said. “You want to spar? My last partner couldn’t hack it.”

“Thanks, but I have to pass.” Garrus chuckled again. “I actually came down because Miranda was looking for you. She wants to talk to you in her office. ASAP.”

“She sent you?”

“You apparently turned your comms off after debrief,” Garrus said, eyebrow plates raised. “She’s quite annoyed that she couldn’t flag you and EDI refused to bother you - said you seemed like you wanted to be alone.”

“The AI is preventing Miranda from tracking me down?” Gabe finished wiping the sweat off and pulled out one of the dozens of Cerberus t-shirts on the shelves next to the towels. “It may grow on me yet.”

“Don’t tell Joker,” Garrus offered. “He keeps muttering about the Terminator and how the machines are coming. I asked him if he meant the Geth and that stressed him out even more. I’m still confused.”

“It’s an old human movie franchise,” Gabe explained pulling on the shirt. “An AI rises up and takes over the world, suppressing and killing the humans.”

“Oh,” Garrus rumbled. “That could be really fun.”

“I’ll send you the vids so you can do research,” Gabe offered as he headed for the door. Garrus shouted after him.

“By the way, the laundry is open. You know, in case you need it.”

Gabe grinned but just lifted up a hand and flipped the Turian off over his shoulder, his friends laugh ring out behind him as the door slid closed. He felt more settled than he had earlier. He trusted Garrus. Trusted him more than just about anybody else in the galaxy. If he trusted that Gabe was himself, he was willing to trust that. It was time to the let the worry and self-doubt go. There were bigger things to focus on. 

He acknowledged Kelly as she passed her station, telling her he’d check is email in a bit. Miranda was sitting behind her desk, as usual, when he walked it. She looked up at him, one eyebrow raised in annoyance. 

“Oh, you’re still abroad are you?” She quipped. Gabe snorted and fell into the chair in front of her desk. 

“I wasn’t aware I needed to available at your beck and call,” he snarked back. Miranda’s expression remained irritated except for the minuscule twitch at the corner of her mouth. What little he’d managed to learn about the Cerberus operative told Gabe that, while she had a “tow-the-line” front, she appreciated a bit of a renegade attitude. After all, everything she did was in defiance of the father that thought he could exert his control over her.

“This is about what I want at this moment,” she skirted the issue. “But what I imagine you want.”

She held out a datapad for him. Gabe leaned forward to take it from her, his eyes freezing on the name at the top of the dossier that lit up the screen. 

Tali’Zorah vas Neema. 

Gabe’s heart pounded in his chest. He looked back up at Miranda. 

“You found her.”

“I told you I would.”

“Where?”

“Tasked with leading a mission to an old human colony, Freedom’s Progress. Seems your girl has become quite the big deal in the Migrant Fleet since returning from the defeat of Saren - completing her pilgrimage, bringing home a trove of data on the geth, choosing a new ship and captain. Another one of Shepard’s disciples taking on the galaxy.”

Tali was leading missions. She’d taken a new ship. Had a new name. Probably had a new suit to signify her status as an adult on the Fleet. 

Her screams in his comm as his vision darkened and his lungs burned were his last memories of her.

“We can be there in less than eighteen hours if you set a course now.” Miranda’s voice was soft, like she knew what he was thinking. Gabe swallowed hard and gripped the data pad tightly. He nodded his thanks, not trusting himself to say anything, and headed out to the CIC to plot a course for Freedom’s Progress. 

He prayed to whatever god or gods were listening that his reunion with her went better than the one with Ash.


	2. Tali'Zorah

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tali is in for the shock of her life while leading a mission on Freedom's Progress.

She’d asked for this mission. She’d wanted to help Veetor. They’d been friends - of sorts - when they were younger. He was a couple of years younger than her and he’d always follow her around at school, asking questions, ducking behind her if others were mean. He’d always been smart - too smart - and she had no doubt that he was responsible for the mess she and her team were in now. 

 

The human colony of Freedom’s Progress was void of all human life. The only things that moved were the activated security mechs that were currently trying to tear through her team. That was another story entirely. She’d asked for the mission but she hadn’t chosen the team. Which was probably why she was having a hard time keeping the bickering in check. 

 

She tried to ignore them while she studied the console for any indication of where Veetor was but the arguing was growing too loud. 

 

_ What would Shepard do?  _

 

The question rolled through her mind, unbidden, and with it the same hollow despair that always accompanied thoughts of her old Commander. Her old friend. It had been two years since the Normandy exploded and Shepard had been sucked out into space; two years since she’d watched air tubes get cut; two years since her screams rose above all the others in the pod as she watched his body twitch and turn as it fell into the atmosphere of Alchera.

 

Tali swallowed hard and pushed the thought away. Now was not the time. 

 

“Hey!” she snapped at her team. They all looked up at her, eyes glowing through their face masks. “Our priority is finding Veetor and getting him back to the Fleet safely. Figuring out what happened here is a secondary priority. Find Veetor. Now. Understood?”

 

There was a quite chorus of “Yes, Ma’am”s and Tali allowed herself to feel all just a little bit of satisfaction. That had been a good Shepard impression. He would have liked it. 

 

Her stomach churned again as she turned back to her console. The pain had lessened over time but it was still there every time she thought of him. Which was often. Probably too often for a crew member to think of her old, dead Commander. 

 

But they had been more than that. At least for her. Shepard had been a friend; a mentor; a confidant. Losing him had left a huge hole in her life that she’d been trying to fill for two years - with missions for the Fleet, research, being useful to her new captain, running special missions for her father. It never worked though. Thoughts of him, memories, always lingered in the back of her mind popping up at the oddest times, leaving her reeling from the unexpected emotions. 

 

There! She’d found Veetor. A warehouse on the other side of the settlement. He’d disabled any heat signature readings in the area but the electricity use and data stream were exponentially higher there than anywhere else.

 

Behind her the sound of the doors to the bunker opening made her jump. Her team was ready first, guns pointed at the invaders, moving forward. 

 

“Stop right there!” Her second in command shouted. Tali groaned and hurried forward. She was lucky he’d given a warning at all. He was more of a shoot first, ask questions second type. 

 

“Prazza, you said you’d let me handle this.” Tali said, glaring at her team mate even if he couldn’t see her face. The tone of annoyance she let seep through into her words should be enough. Prazza didn’t lower his weapon but he didn’t shoot anyone either, so she supposed that was a win. She turned to see who their visitors were. 

 

And froze in her tracks. 

 

The figure in the black and red N7 armor was achingly familiar. His wide stance; the way he held his gun tight to his body, elbow bent, finger resting on the safety so he could turn it off quickly if needed. 

 

It couldn’t be.

 

When he pulled off his helmet, she gasped. Blue eye set in almond-shaped eyes met hers. They danced with merriment when he looked at her, a grin spreading across his face.  The wide jaw, the nose that was cute despite being so large. 

 

It was impossible. 

 

“Wait,” she whispered. His skin was different though - smoother despite several glowing scars. Ones that he’d never had before. But they were his eyes. It was his smile. She’d pictured them in her head enough times in the last two years to recognize them. “Shepard?”

 

“I’m not taking any chances with Cerberus operatives,” Prazza said from behind her, cutting into her thoughts. Tali, whirled on him, panic clawing at her. If it was him and these idiots shot him…

 

“Put those weapons down,” she demanded, leaving no room for negotiation. Then she turned back to look at the man who had arrived. He’d lowered his weapon, as had his companions, and the way he stood...weight on one leg, hip jutted out just a bit, all casual and - what had Garrus called it? Cocky. She shook her head. 

 

“Shepard.” When she said his name again, the usual despair didn’t accompany it. There was hope in her chest again. “Is that...you’re alive?”

 

His smile grew impossibly larger. 

 

“Remember when I gave you that geth data, Tali?” His voice. Oh Keela, his voice was like coming home. Tali had to bite her lip from laughing, thankful that her mask hid the emotions she was sure were showing on her face. “Did it help you complete your pilgrimage?”

 

It was him. It had to be.

 

He hadn’t told anyone else about giving her that data. It had been their secret so the Alliance wouldn’t get mad about him sharing intel. 

 

“Yes it did,” she said, barely containing her excitement. Until she caught sight of the emblem on the armor of his companions. Cerberus. He was with Cerberus operatives. Anger swelled in her chest but she turned to her team again. “Prazza, weapons down. This is definitely Commander Shepard.”

 

Prazza complied, but jutted his chin toward Shepard. 

 

“Why is your old Commander working for Cerberus?” he asked. Tali drew in a slow breath and turned back to Shepard. 

 

“I don’t know,” she admitted, meeting Shepard’s gaze. “Maybe we should ask.”

 

Shepard’s smile was gone now, his lips pulled into a tight line, trepidation in his eyes. 

 

“I nearly died, Tali.” His voice was tight, laced with sadness and something else she couldn’t quite place. “Cerberus spent two years rebuilding me. They want me to investigate attacks on human colonies.”

 

Cerberus investigating the attacks on the human colonies made sense. Their priority had always been humans. But she didn’t understand what he meant when he said they’d rebuilt him. Or why they rebuilt him. Or why they would send him here. Or most of what was happening right now, if she were honest with herself. She forced herself to take several deep breaths and calm down so she could sort all of this out. 

 

“Likely story,” Prazza sneered, crossing his arms across his body. “No organization would commit so many resources to bring back one soldier.” 

 

Tali laughed. 

 

“You haven’t seen Shepard in action, Prazza,” she retorted. “Trust me, it was money well spent.”

 

Shepard’s lips pulled up slightly on one side, give her that charming, infuriating half-smile he had when he was amused. Tali’s heart fluttered in her chest like it always did when he smiled like that. Keelah, she had missed him. More than she had even realized until now, seeing him standing in front of her again. She wanted to give him a hug so much it made her physically ache to hold back. 

 

“Perhaps we can work together,” she suggested, desperately hoping her long pause had gone unnoticed. Judging by the slight tilt of Shepard’s head as he studied her, it hadn’t. But he didn’t say anything. He just kept his eyes on her, listening intently as she explained their mission. “We’re here looking for a young Quarian named Veetor. He was here on pilgrimage.”

 

Shepard’s nose scrunched up just a little in concentration. Tali almost laughed at the familiar expression - the one he wore when he was sorting through information in his mind. 

 

“Isn’t that a little strange?” He asked. “A quarian visiting a remote human colony?”

 

“Quarians can choose where they go on pilgrimage.” She explained, not missing the fact that Shepard knew enough about her culture to know something like this was unusual. It shouldn’t surprise her. He’d gone out of his way when she’d joined his crew on the  _ Normandy  _ to learn about her people; to help her feel more comfortable on her new ship. “Veetor liked the idea of helping a small settlement. He was always...nervous in crowds.”

 

“She means that he was unstable,” Prazza interjected. “Combine that with damage to his suit’s CO2 scrubbers and an infection from an open air exposure, he’s probably likely delirious.”

 

Tali barely contained the low growl of frustration in her throat. He was really getting on her nerves. She should have insisted they send someone else with her. 

 

“When he saw us landing he hid in a warehouse on the far side of town,” Tali continued, choosing to ignore Prazza’s ignorance. “We suspect he also programmed the mechs to attack anything that moved.”

 

“Veetor is the only one that can tell us what happened here,” Shepard said. “We should work together to find him.”

 

Tali sighed with relief.  

 

“Good idea,” she said, smiling even if he couldn’t see. “You’ll need to two teams to get past the drones anyway.”

 

“Now we’re working with Cerberus?” Prazza demanded. 

 

“No, Prazza. You’re working for me. If you can’t follow orders, go wait on the ship,” Tali snapped back. The thought came out of habit - how that had been a good Shepard moment; how he would have liked it. And then she realized that he was right there. And sure enough, there was a smug grin on his face when she glanced back at him. He liked it. “Head for the warehouse through the center of the colony. We’ll circle around the far side and draw off some of the drones to clear you a path.”

 

“That’s a good plan, Tali.” His voice was quiet with pride. 

 

“I learned from the best,” she said, her voice just as soft. They held each other’s gazes for just a moment before Shepard nodded toward her team behind her. 

 

“You’re people really don’t like Cerberus,” he said. “What did I miss.”

 

“They killed our people,” Prazza growled behind her. “Infiltrated our Flotilla. And tried to blow up one of our ships.” 

 

Shepard’s eyes narrowed and he turned to glare at the woman behind him. She was beautiful. Almost perfect. Jealousy swirled in Tali’s stomach. 

 

“Is that true?” Shepard demanded. 

 

“That’s now how I’d have explained it exactly,” she said, her voice haughty and cold. “It was nothing personal.”

 

“We can argue over who killed who later,” offered the man with Shepard before any of the Quarians could argue. “Right now, we’ve got a job to do.”

 

“Agreed,” Tali interrupted what she was sure to be a dressing down by Shepard. While she’d love to see it, they didn’t have time right now. “We work together to get to Veetor.”

 

Shepard looked at her, anger burning in his eyes. For a moment, she thought he’d insist on having it out over the Cerberus attack on the Fleet right there, but then he sucked in a deep breath and the fire in his eyes disappeared. She’d seen him do it hundreds of times but the emotions it brought on now were almost overwhelming. For the first time in two years, she felt...right. 

 

But the Cerberus operatives confused her. The Shepard she knew hated Cerberus. She’d watched him spar with Garrus for over an hour after finding a Cerberus lab that was experimenting on aliens while they were hunting Saren. She didn’t understand what was happening. She needed to be done with this mission. She needed time to wrap her head around all of this. 

 

“Make sure you keep in radio contact,” he said, her voice pulling her out of her thoughts. His eyes were narrowed on her; studying her. He seemed to see her confusion; to understand it, even though it seemed to upset him.

 

“Will do,” she said, her voice soft. “Good luck, Shepard. Whatever happens….it’s good to have you back.”


	3. Gabriel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He's found Tali but, as always, other demands interfere with what he wants.

“Whatever happens…it’s good to have you back.”

 

Gabe breathed a sigh of relief at Tali’s words. No accusations of betrayal. No questioning of his loyalty. He’d seen her hesitation in the way she cocked her head at him; heard it in her voice, but she’d given him the benefit of a doubt. Not Cerberus, though. He wasn’t sure if he should believe Tali’s teammate but it wouldn’t surprise him if it were true. It sounded like something the organization he knew. The one he worked with now.

 

He pushed the invading thought away and waited for Tali and her team to slip out of the building before signaling Miranda and Jacob to follow him. Gabe wished he’d brought Garrus with instead. Despite being reliable thus far, he didn’t trust them. But Chakwas said the Turian needed more time to recover - even if he had insisted he was mission ready. 

 

So Gabe plunged into battle with people he didn’t trust again, gritting his teeth the entire time. When Tali’s voice came over his comms, though, he relaxed a bit. It was nice to hear her voice, even if she wasn’t fighting by his side. God, he’d missed her. 

 

“Be careful, Shepard,” she said with the familiar soft lilt that he’d spend hours listening to on the SR-1. “There’s a swarm of security drones up ahead.” 

 

Veetor must have activated every weaponized mech in the entire colony. They were everywhere and Gabe quickly lost all thoughts of late nights spent with Tali as he focused on the battle. Miranda and Jacob proved to be just as useful as they had on Omega, following his orders without question. 

 

A few minutes into their push across the city, Tali’s voice came over his comm again, her voice tight and anxious. 

 

“Shepard! Prazza and his team rushed on ahead. I told them to wait but they wouldn’t listen. They want to find Veetor and take him away before you get here.”

 

“We should have expected this,” Miranda sighed. Gabe snorted. 

 

“Yeah, I suppose it should be expected they wouldn’t trust us after Cerberus tried to blow up their ship,” he retorted. Miranda narrowed her eyes at him and opened her mouth to respond before Jacob interjected.

 

“Come on,” Jacob, clearly the peacemaker said. “We can still catch them.”

 

“Hurry, Shepard. We are in the inside the loading docks. Veetor reprogrammed a heavy mech. It’s tearing Prazza’s squad apart!” Tali exclaimed through the comms. 

 

“They did want to get to Veetor first,” Miranda needlessly commented. Gabe was about to retort when Tali’s voice echoed in his ear again.

 

“Get your squad into cover and I’ll open the loading bay doors,” Tali said, the earlier anxiety gone. Her words were crisp and focus. She was different that the woman he’d seen last. She older, more sure of herself. There was a new hardness to her if he thought about it. The Tali he knew would never have been able to order someone to fall in line or go back to the ship; would have struggled continuing with a mission after watching her comrades fall. 

 

Suddenly, he felt sick. He knew what it took to develop that kind of hardness; knew the kind of experiences it took for a person to become that way. He didn’t like the thought of Tali living through that. The last two years must have been hard for her. 

 

“Shepard, you take point,” Miranda directed interrupting his thoughts. Gabe glared at her and she raised both hands in the air in mock surrender. “Apologies, Commander. Your orders?

 

Gabe resisted the urge to change Miranda’s order just to spite her. It was a good order - he was far more equipped than either of them to take point with a heavy mech. So he directed them to flank positions and then took cover behind a barricade to wait for Tali to open the door. 

 

The door to the bay opened just in time for Gabe to watch the heavy mech kill what was left of Prazza’s team. Gabe swore under his breath as he, Miranda and Jacob scrambled for cover inside the loading dock. The two Cerberus agents automatically flanked him. Their training was good - he had to give them that. Miranda looked at him. 

 

“This is going to be one tough son of a bitch to take down,” she observed dryly. If Gabe weren’t so annoyed with her attitude toward the Quarians, he would have laughed.

 

Miranda wasn’t wrong. After a ten minute fire-fight, the depletion of all of their medigel, and what Gabe was pretty such was a few cracked ribs from taking a shot right to his side, they managed to put the heavy mech down. They did a quick sweep of the area to make sure all the mech were down. The last thing he needed was a surprise attack while trying to talk to a nervous, scared Quarian who could activate an army if he got startled. 

 

He quickly broke the encryption on the lock. The door to the bunker slid open to reveal a Quarian sitting at the far end in front of a wall of security screens. Gabe could hear him mumbling to himself - something about swarms. He took a moment to take in the scene, to let his eyes sweep the room for any threats, and then started toward Veetor.


	4. Tali

That boshtet Prazza wouldn’t listen. Wouldn’t trust her. And he’d ended up dead. Along with the rest of the team. All of them. Except for her. She’d lost most of her team. That heavy mech had shredded through them like they were nothing. Prazza was responsible for this mess, but she’d have to write the reports; tell their families. She wanted to be sick. 

 

She wondered how Shepard had felt after the Blitz - the only one left standing after the attack; the only one to bear the burden of the memories of watching his teammates die.

 

Shepard. 

 

Alive. 

 

Here. 

 

Now. 

 

The doubts had begun creeping in the moment he’d ducked out of the bunker. She’d watched him suffocate; watching him burn up in the atmosphere as he fell to Alchera. No one survived something like that. Not even Gabriel Shepard. 

 

But it seemed like him. Talked like him; moved like him, smiled like him; fought like him. 

 

Then again, she knew what Cerberus was capable of. Genetic experiments; AIs; cloning. It could be a copy - a clone. Or maybe a robot. The orange glow of his scars looked like cybernetic augmentations. Maybe it was all cybernetics. There were thousands of hours of footage of Gabe Shepard - security footage; mission video; interviews; fan video. Cerberus could have programmed mannerisms in. 

 

Maybe she wanted it to be him so badly she was missing something important; some indication that it wasn’t really him. Maybe she was letting her emotions get in the way. 

 

She arrived at Veetor’s bunker just after Shepard and his new team, slipping in behind them unseen. In front of the screens, Veetor sat, muttering to himself about monsters and swarms. His voice was fast and nervous and Tali’s heart broke for him. Poor, sweet, shy, nervous Veetor. Living through something like this had surely traumatized him. 

 

Tali watched Gabe approach her old friend. His steps were slow and measured. She almost said something; almost interjected herself but stopped when she realized that this would be the perfect situation to assess if Shepard was really Shepard. She’d watched him talk to scared people so many times; watched the hardness of a seasoned soldier, martial arts specialist, war hero, evaporate to reveal a kind, compassionate man that could reach even the most withdrawn and terrified. If this man in front of her was really Shepard - her Shepard - he’d be able to reach Veetor; as well as anyone could, that was.

 

She pushed down her emotions, forcing herself to use her analytical eye to observe him. 

 

“Jacob, Miranda, guns away,” Shepard ordered. His teammates followed the order without question as he turned to Veetor. “Veetor?” 

 

“No Veetor. Not here. Swarms can’t find. Monsters coming. Have to hide.”

 

“Nobody’s going to hurt you anymore,” Shepard assured Veetor. The young Quarian didn’t respond, keeping his attention on the wall of screens and punching commands into the console.

 

“I don’t think he can hear you, Commander,” Jacob said. Shepard studied the man for a moment and then pulled up his omnitool. A few seconds later, the feed on Veetor’s screens disappeared. 

 

Veetor finally pulled back and glanced over his shoulder to where Shepard and his team were standing. And then stood up out of his chair and faced them. 

 

“You’re human,” Veetor said, his voice shaky. He sounded so scared.  “Where did you hide? How come they didn’t find you?”

 

“Who didn’t find us,” Miranda demanded. Tali grit her teeth in irritation. She didn’t much care for that woman, she decided. 

 

“The...the monsters,” Veetor responded. “The swarms. They took everyone!”

 

“We’re not survivors, Veetor,” Shepard explained, his voice calm and even. “We just got here.”

 

“You don’t know. You didn’t see.” Veetor turned back to his wall of screens. “But I see everything.”

 

The wall of screens lit up again, this time showing a single feed across all of them, like a mosaic. There were floating containers being escorted by some creature that Tali didn’t recognize; large bugs flying through the air. 

 

“Looks like security footage,” Miranda observed. “He must have pieced this together manually.”

 

“What the hell is that?” Jacob asked, pointing at the floating, long rectangular containers and the creatures escorting them. Tali studied them, trying to discern what they were but she’d never seen anything like it before.

 

“Oh my god!” Miranda exclaimed. “I think it’s a Collector.”

 

“What the hell is a Collector?” Shepard asked, thankfully, as Tali had no idea either. 

 

“They’re a species from somewhere beyond the Omega 4 relay,” Jacob explained, his voice somber. “Only a few people have ever seen one in person.”

 

“They usually work through intermediaries, like slavers or mercenaries,” Miranda continued. “If they’re involved with the Reapers somehow it could explain what happened to the colonies.”

 

“The Collectors have advanced technology,” Jacob picked up after Miranda. “They could have a weapon that disables an entire settlement at once.”

 

“The seeker swarms,” Veetor finally spoke again. “No one can hide. The Seekers find you. Freeze you. Then the monsters take you away.”

 

The footage stopped. 

 

“How did you hide from them, Veetor?” Shepard asked. Tali recognized an old tactic of his - using Veetor’s name a lot. He told her once that it helped create a connection with someone, especially when they were scared, to have someone who knew their name. 

 

“Swarms didn’t find me. Monsters didn’t know I was here.”

 

“The collectors aren’t known for being careless,” Jacob said. “Maybe his enviro-suit kept him from showing up on their scans.”

 

“Or they were using technology specifically designed to detect humans,” Miranda offered. “Only human colonies have been hit.”

 

Shepard’s shoulders rose and fall as he took a deep breath. He turned back to Veetor and continued to ask questions, his voice calm, his words slow. The man behaved so like Shepard, so measured, so sure. She couldn’t imagine it was a copy but she had to be sure. So she continued to hang back while Shepard drew information out of Veetor with patience and kindness.

 

Jacob said something about an Illusive Man. Tali filed the information away for later and continued to watch and listen from the shadows. Whoever he was, someone who called themselves the Illusive Man was not someone she would trust. Eventually, though, fear crept back into Veetor’s voice. 

 

“We appreciate what you told us, Veetor,” Shepard nodded to the Quarian. “You were very helpful.”

 

Veetor nodded. 

 

“I studied them,” he said, some confidence back in his voice. Veeter was always more comfortable talking about the things he studied. He pulled up his omni tool. “The monsters. The swarms. I recorded them with my omni tool. Lots of readings. Electromagnetic. Dark energy.”

 

“We need to get this data to the Illusive Man.” Miranda’s tone was commanding. “Grab the Quarian and call the shuttle to come pick us up.”

 

Tali saw Shepard pull back at her words, but couldn’t hold back anymore. 

 

She stepped forward, the echo of her boot on the metal floor alerting the others. They all turned and looked at her. There was a trace of a smile on Shepard’s lips when he saw her but it didn’t reach his eyes and disappeared quickly. 

 

“Veetor is injured,” Talk said, using her best commanding voice. She wasn’t sure she achieved it but kept going anyway. “He needs treatment, not an interrogation.”

 

“We won’t hurt him. We just need to see if he knows anything else. He’ll be returned unharmed.” Jacob, though he was with Cerberus, seemed genuine. Tali was inclined to believe him. But it didn’t matter. There was no way she was letting them take Veetor. She trained her eyes on Shepard.

 

“Your people tried to betray us once,” Miranda said, clearly referring to Prazza’s deadly mistake.. Anger flashed in Shepard’s eyes before he turned to look at her while she continued to speak. “If we give him to you, we’ll never get the intel we need.”

 

“Prazza was an idiot and he and his men paid for it,” Tali snapped back before Shepard could say anything. “You’re welcome to take Veetor’s omni tool data but please, just let me take him.”

 

She directed her question to Shepard. Her stomach churned. This, she knew, was the ultimate test. If he belonged to Cerberus - in whatever way they had managed to control him - he wouldn’t let such a valuable target out of his sight. But her Shepard, he wouldn’t dream of taking a scared, hurt boy away from his people just for some data. 

 

The eyes that met hers were so achingly familiar it made warmth settle in her chest and agony twist in her gut all at the same time. How many times had she thought about those eyes in the last two years? How many times had she longed to see them again, twinkling with humor, warm with compassion, sharp with focus? 

 

“You don’t have to take Veetor and go,” he said quietly, his eyes flickering between hers - or what he could see of her. “We can work together. Just like old times.”

 

He winked at her with the last statement. It was such a comforting thing, to see that wink of his. Her emotions swelled at the familiar mannerism. But she had to push them away. She had responsibilities. 

 

“I want to,” she said, hating the way any hint of joy disappeared from his face. “But I can’t. I’ve got a mission of my own and it’s too important for me to abandon. Even for you, Shepard. When it’s over - if I’m still alive - then maybe.”

 

Gabe’s brow pulled together in concern. He didn’t ask though, probably because of the two Cerberus people in the room. He studied her face for a few moments and then turned to Miranda. 

 

“Veetor is traumatized and needs medical care,” he said and relief washed over Tali. Not nearly as much for Veetor as for herself and she felt immediately guilty about that. But this was Shepard. The real Shepard. It was really him. Tali swallowed past the lump in her throat and forced herself to listen. “Tali will give us the omni tool data and take him back to the Flotilla.”

 

Miranda’s eyes narrowed for a moment, her gaze challenging Shepard. For a moment, Tali was worried there was going to be trouble; that Miranda was going to challenge him. Then she nodded her head in consent. 

 

“Yes, Commander,” she said.  

 

Tali sighed with relief. 

 

“Thank you, Shepard.” She tried to keep the emotion out of her voice but Shepard’s face softened the way it did when he sensed someone’s emotions. “I’m glad you’re still the one giving the orders.”

 

Shepard snorted a little then glanced back at Miranda. 

 

“I’ll meet you and Jacob at the shuttle,” he said. “I’d like a minute to speak with Tali.”

 

Again, Miranda hesitated but nodded her consent. She and Jacob left the building without another word. When they were out of sight, Shepard’s shoulders dropped, his face went suddenly slack with weariness. Tali - no longer worried about the Cerberus presence - did want she’d wanted to do since the moment she saw him again and immediately launched herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck in a hug. 

 

“Keelah, Shepard,” she breathed, annoyed that her face mask clanked into the shoulder of his armor. But his arms slid around her and pulled her as close as he could manage with her suit and his armor. “I can’t believe you’re here. That you’re alive”

 

“You and me both,” he snorted again. He sounded...miserable. Tali pulled away but kept her hands on his shoulders.

 

“What is going on, Shepard?” She asked quietly. He sighed and ran an armored hand through his short hair. She remembered he didn’t wear a helmet if the air was suited for humans; said they added extra weight and limited his field of vision. 

 

“Honestly, Tal, I don’t know.” HIs voice was strained, tired. “The last thing I remember, I was in space and…”

 

His words were like a knife being plunged in her heart. She closed her eyes against the memory of him twisting in space, trying to hold his air tubes together behind his neck, his gasping breaths coming over the coms, and her screaming his name. He cleared his throat and she opened her eyes again.

 

“And then I was waking up in a Cerberus lab, Miranda’s voice in my comms,” he continued. “They told me they had rebuilt me, two years had gone by, my team was scattered across the galaxy, no one was doing anything about the Reapers, and human colonies were going dark, humans disappearing. And they wanted me to help them figure out what’s happening.”

 

“Why Cerberus, Shepard?” she asked, unable to let the question go unasked. “You know what they are; what they’ve done.”

 

If possible, his shoulders dropped even more. She’d never seen him look so defeated. She hated it. 

 

“I tried the Alliance,” he said, his voice hollow. “They don’t want me - probably because the first question I asked was what they’d done about the Reapers and then lost my temper when they told me they’d done nothing. The Council has allowed me to retain my status as Spectre but basically ordered me to stay in Terminus space so I don’t cause problems. The Reapers are coming and Cerberus seems to be the only people willing to acknowledge their existence, much less do anything about it. So here I am. Working with people I don’t like or trust, trying to find a way to stop an invasion.”

 

Tali sighed. 

 

“I’m sorry, Shepard. If I could come with you right now, I would. I just…” her voice trailed off when his eyes met hers again. The concern was there again and Tali cursed herself. He already had enough to worry about. She shouldn’t have added more to his plate. 

 

“Your mission sounds dangerous, Tal,” he said. “What is it?

 

“I can’t tell you.” And she hated it. Hated that she couldn’t share something with him when she wanted to share everything with him now that he was back. How it had been to be without him. Who she’d become in the last two years. What missing him had done to her. How she’d realized how she’d felt too late and had carried the regret with her for two years.  “It’s...how do you humans put it...need to know. It’s in Geth space. That should tell you how important it is.”

 

“Tali, Geth space?” There was a deep worry in his eyes now. He shook his head. “What have you gotten yourself into? You just lost your whole team and you were able to focus on the mission? I know what it takes to do that; the things you have to go through to develop that ability. And you're running a mission into Geth space?”

 

“Things have changed, Shepard,” she said. “I’ve changed. I had to....do something to distract myself. What happened to the Normandy; watching you…I did the only thing I knew to do and dove into my work. The harder, the more dangerous, the better. It kept me distracted, focused on something else. Then my new captain, he needed someone to head the initiative he created to look into the Geth data I brought back - the data you gave me. So I volunteered. And because of my time with you, he gave it to me.”

 

“Things have changed,” Shepard echoed, his voice sad; like her words had caused him pain. He sighed. “But not us, I hope. We’re still friends? You still trust me? Even though I’m working with Cerberus.”

 

Tali nodded. 

 

“I wasn’t sure at first,” she admitted. “I thought, maybe, they’d copied you somehow but I’m not worried anymore. I know you. I know you are you. I still trust you, Shepard. You’re still my friend. You’re one of my best friends.”

 

That earned her a big, warm, genuine Gabriel Shepard smile; one that warmed her all the way down to her toes. 

 

“You have no idea how happy that makes me,” he said. She laughed quietly, unable to resist that smile. 

 

“I missed you, Shepard,” she admitted. But she couldn’t stay, she reminded herself. Duties. Responsibilities. Veetor. “I need to get Veetor back.”

 

“Of course.” His smile dimmed a bit at her words. “Message me when you get a chance?”

 

“Promise,” she said. 

 

“Keelah Se’lai, Tali’Zorah vas Neema.” His words were quiet and made her heartache. Keelha take her, she wanted to stay. Instead, she threw her arms around him again, savoring the closeness of the hug even with their suits on. 

 

“Keelah Se’lai, Gabriel Shepard,” she whispered. “I’ll let you know when I’m safe.”

 

And then she took Veetor by the hand and led him out of the building before she could second guess her decision to leave; before she decided to abandon her duties and go back to the Normandy with Shepard. And whispered a prayer to Keelah that she managed to live through her mission so she could do just that when she was done. 


	5. Gabe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haestrom

“Are you sure she’s still alive?”

 

His question echoed in his head as he, Garrus, and Jack moved through the throngs of Geth on Haestrom. She’d been alive when they were in the bunker but that had been almost and hour ago. Anything could have happened. If they got to her now...

 

He’d received a few messages from her since Freedom’s Progress - short but warm. She was busy on whatever mission it was she’d taken on but messaged him when she could. There hadn’t been much substance in the messages; she was probably worried about using an unsecured channel. But it’s had been nice to hear from her even if it wasn’t what he was hoping for. 

 

Tali had warned him about her mission; about it being in Geth space. But the sheer number of Geth on this planet was overwhelming. Her entire team gone - again - accept for Kal’Reegar. All for some scientific data about a star. 

 

“The observatory is reinforced,” Kal shouted over the shots of the Colossus. “Even the geth will need time to get through it. And it’s hard to hack a door when someone’s firing rockets at you. The geth are near platoon strength, but the colossus is the worst part. It’s got a repair protocol. Huddles up and fixes itself.”

 

Shepard glanced over the barrier just as the geth did just that. Kal wasn’t wrong - there would be not getting a shot in while it was huddled up like that. He grit his teeth. This was fucking mess. As usual. And Kal’s reassurance that Tali was safe was not as solid as he was hoping for. 

 

“I can’t get a clear shot while it’s down like that. I tried to move in closer, and one of the bastards punched a shot clean through my suit,” Kal continued. Shepard turned his attention back to the Quarian. A punctured suit was serious.

 

“How bad is your suit damage?” He asked. Kal assured him the suit was sealed and had issued antibiotics. 

 

“The geth might get me, but I’m not going to die from an infection in the middle of a battle. That’s just insulting.”

 

Shepard snorted a laugh. He liked Kal. Which meant he had to leave him here for a push to Tali. He’d be damned if he’d be responsible for the death of her last remaining team member. Kal gave him a layout of the battlefield and suggestions for clearing the path to the bunker. The Quarian was a good soldier. 

 

“We need to get to Tali,” Shepard shouted over the shattering cement as the Colossus fired shots in their direction. “Got any ideas?”

 

“Just one. I”m not moving so well, but I can still pull a trigger, and I’ve got a rocket launcher that the sun hasn’t fired yet,” Kal offered. “You move in close. I’ll keep the colossus busy, maybe even drop it’s shields. With luck, you’ll be able to finish it off.”

 

Gabe shook his head. 

 

“You’ve done enough, Reegar. Don’t throw your life away from some scientific data,” he said. Glowing eyes narrowed behind the Quarian’s facemask. 

 

“I’m a soldier; my commanders tell me to protect scientific data, that’s what I do,” he argued. “Besides, it’s less about the data and more about Tali. She’s a friend. I’m not about to sit back while she’s in danger.”

 

“I’m doing this for Tali,” Gabe said, switching his tone from Commander to the softer one he used to talk people back from the ledge. “She’s already lost everyone else on her team. If you’re her friend, losing you will do even more damage. She’s gone through enough. I’ll make sure Tali is safe. I swear on my life.”

 

Reegar didn’t say anything for a long moment but eventually nodded slowly. 

 

“These bastards killed my whole squad, Shepard.” It was more than a statement; it was a request. From one soldier to another. Gabe nodded. 

 

“I’ll make them pay,” he promised. “Stay here. Watch my back. Radio me in case they bring in reinforcements.”

 

Reegar nodded his assent and Shepard turned his attention back to Garrus and Jack. The biotic was bouncing on her toes, biotic energy rolling over her body. The Turian had been squeezing of pot shots while Gabe spoke with Reegar to keep the other geth back. They both looked to him to wait for orders. 

 

“Jack, can you take the left side?” he asked. She grinned at him and nodded. “Garrus, I’m going to go high and right to try to get to that Colossus. Keep the path clear for me; I’ll worry about dodging its shots.”

 

“You got it,” Garrus rumbled. Gabe took three deep breaths before nodding to the two of him - his signal to go. 

 

He lost himself in the sounds and feel and flow of battle. He could hear Jack’s swearing and cackle as she took care of the other side of the battlefield, flashes of blue biotic power in the corner of his eye. Garrus, as always, hit every shot, clearing Gabe’s path. 

 

But none of it mattered. He was making no progress against the Colossus. Any time his visor indicated the shields were low, the geth huddled up and repaired itself. Gabe was pinned down. Couldn’t get closer. Couldn’t get a shot in.

 

“What do you want to do, Pretty Boy?” Jack asked over the comms. Gabe sighed and pressed his back against the crate he was using for cover. He glanced down at his equipment belt - two grenades were all he had left. 

 

“How much of a distraction can you two make?” He asked. Jack laughed, making Garrus groan. 

 

“Even if we distract it, the shields will still be up,” Garrus said. “The three of us have been shooting at it for five minutes - what good is a distraction going to do?”

 

“The shields are keeping our fire out,” Gabe said pulling the grenades off his belt. “They won’t keep me out.”

 

“You can’t be serious,” the Turian responded as Jack laughed again. Gabe glanced over the crate to see the colossus unfolding itself once again. There was a gap in the metal - where the neck met the rest of its body. It was a small target.

 

“You got a better idea?” he asked. 

 

“Fuck,” Garrus said after a moment of silence. 

 

“One distraction coming right up!” Jack shouted. A flash of blue was all the signal Gabe got. He didn’t bother to look before leaping out of cover, pulling the pins of the grenades as he went. He could hear Jack and Garrus assaulting the geth. He just put one foot in front of the other as he raced for the machine. 

 

With a grunt, he lept at it, feeling a few of Garrus’ concussive rounds hit his shields. Gabe landed on the Colossus’ back, grabbing onto the back of its head for a moment of stability while he dropped the grenades into the gap he’d spotted. He felt the machine coil beneath him; was ready for it when swung its body to the side, throwing him into the air; let his body fly, eyes spotting a stack of crates he could use for cover. 

 

Gabe twisted his body around, getting his feet under him just before he hit the ground, tucking and rolling in the direction of his spotted cover. A shot from the Colossus hit the ground just behind his foot, his shields absorbing the impact and draining. He dove behind the crates and counted off the seconds before he heard the grenades go off. 

 

Risking a peek around the crate, he saw the Colossus stagger on its feet while still under assault from his team. Smoke billowed from its insides. In a split second, Gabe decided he’d had enough. It was time to end this. 

 

He launched himself back at the Colossus, Garrus swearing at him over the comms. A barrage of gunfire and biotics hit the geth, distracting it without having to give the order. Once again, Gabe landed on it’s back. But this time, instead of grabbing on for balance, he wrapped his arms around its neck, pressed his hands against the bottom of its head and pulled back. 

 

The metal strained and creaked under the force. Nuts and bolts sprung free, clanging against metal. Gabe twisted to the side, pulling harder. 

 

With a shout, the head snapped free of the body. Sparks flew as the machine pitched to the side, throwing him to the ground. 

 

He was just getting to his feet when Garrus and Jack approached. 

 

“Show off,” Jack snorted. “We all know you’re super strong; you can stop with the gun show anytime.”

 

“Seriously, Shepard,” Garrus snorted. “At this point, it’s just getting ridiculous.”

 

Gabe flipped them both off. 

 

“You’re welcome,” He said, his eyes falling on the door to the bunker. Tali. “Let’s go.”

 

It only took him moments to get the door unlocked. It slid open to reveal a dark, room full of consoles, crates, crumbling shelving. At at the back, in her dark purple and black suit stood Tali Zorah. Alive. Well. Safe. 

 

She turned, and he could hear the smile in her voice when she spoke.    
  


“Shepard. You’re here.”


	6. Tali

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter for Christmas Day!

She was going back to the Normandy. 

 

With Shepard. 

 

Tali’s heart pounded in her chest as she watched him comb through the data on one of the consoles. Just watching him move felt like being home. She'd been so relieved to hear his voice earlier; felt so much more assured that she'd make it out alive; that the risks that had been taken for this mission would be worth it with him on the ground.

 

“I’ve heard your stories about him, but I never expected them to be so true.” Kal limped towards her. Another thing to be grateful to Shepard for - saving her friend. “He’s something special.”

 

“Yeah,” Tali agreed, her voice just a bit too breathless. Kal tipped his head to the side. Quarians couldn’t see facial expressions so they all read voice tone and body language and she’d just given far too much away; revealed too much of her feelings. Her gut twisted.

 

“Be careful, Tal,” Kal warned, his voice low. “He’s still human and you’re still Quarian.”

 

“I know, Reegar,” she snapped, her throat tight. Why did he have to say it? “As if I need to be reminded that he’d never want someone like me.”

 

Kal shook his head. 

 

“I don’t know about that,” he said slowly. Tali could feel his eyes on him. “I just meant, if….there are dangers. To your health.”

 

“Oh...I don’t…” Tali stumbled over her words, embarrassment replacing her irritation. Kal had been her friend for the last two years. They’d led the team together on her first mission after she’d returned to the Flotilla. They were close; as close as she was to anyone with the Fleet. But still, she was not comfortable talking about this. 

 

“You should tell him,” Kal cut her off. “Life is too short to hold that kind of thing in. Especially with talk of war against the Geth - and the Collectors.”

 

“Hold what in?” Shepard approached and Tali’s heart dropped to her stomach. Keelah, he’d heard. But Kal, that boshtet, covered for her so quickly Tali almost giggled. 

 

“Opinions about the Council’s choice in missions,” Kal said. He always talked about being just a soldier but he was quick and smart. Tali shook her head at her friend. One glowing eye closed quickly behind his face mask before opening again in a wink.

 

“He’s right,” Shepard agreed. “You know more about the Geth than anyone I know. They should be listening to you if they are talking about war.”

 

Tali ducked her head, embarrassed at the compliment. 

 

“Yes, well,” she said. “We’ll see.”

 

“Kal Reegar,” Shepard said, turning toward Tali’s friend and relieving her of his attention for the moment. “It was an honor meeting you. Thank you for taking care of Tali while I was...gone.”

 

Kal accepted the hand Shepard held out and shook it firmly. 

 

“It was my pleasure. She’s something special, this one,” Kal said. Shepard glanced at Tali and smiled, making her stomach flip. 

 

“You’re sure you don’t need a ride back to the Fleet?” Shepard asked. Kal shook his head. 

 

“I can feel the infection setting in but it can make it back to the ship and the fight crew can take of me from there.” Kal turned to Tali. “Be safe, Tali Zorah. Keelah Se’lai.”

 

“Let me know when you’re safe, Kal,” she said quietly. “Keelah Se’lai.”

 

She and Shepard watched him limp from the bunker and across the battlefield littered with dead geth. Then Gabe Shepard turned to her. 

 

“The Normandy awaits. Ready, Tali Zorah vas Neema?” He asked, his voice unusually rough and low. It made desire curl in her gut. Tali nodded, swallowing hard. Maybe she was getting herself in over her head.   
  


“Ready,” she said instead, earning her a brilliant smile from her Commander. He dropped a hand on her shoulder affectionately. 

"Then lets go home."


	7. Gabe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tali is finally home.

The Tali that stalked into the comm room was different than the one that had stepped back onto the Normandy with him yesterday. That Tali had been more like the girl he remembered - soft-spoken, excited, sweet. This one was more like the woman he’d found on Freedom’s Progress - tough, vocal, fierce. Part of him missed that girl but he was beginning to really like the woman.

 

He watched her as she paced in the comm room, her eyes never leaving Jacob who stood on the other side of the conference table. Her shoulders were tense, her body coiled like she was ready to fight at any moment. He couldn’t blame her. He’d spend the first several weeks on the new Normandy feeling the same way. 

 

“I don’t know who you are.” Her voice was low but strong and Gabe barely contained a smile as she prowled through the room. “But Cerberus threatened the security of the migrant fleet. Don’t make nice.” 

 

Gabe snorted at that. If he were honest with himself, he’d prefer to just let Tali keep going. But he needed to make sure everyone got along or it would get in the way of the mission. 

 

“That’s why I need you here, Tali,” he said. “I need people who are Cerberus; people I can trust.”

 

“I wasn’t part of what happened to the migrant fleet but I understand your distrust. I hope we’ll get past that as we work together.” Jacob - always the peacemaker. 

 

“I assumed that you were undercover, Shepard. Maybe even planning to blow Cerberus up. If that’s the case, I’ll loan you a grenade. ” Tali stalked back to him and Gabe found himself almost taking a step back. But when she stopped a few feet in front of him, her shoulders relaxed. “Otherwise, I’m here for you Shepard.”

 

“I’m glad you’re here, Tali.” He spoke with too much feeling - especially with Jacob in the room - so he swallowed anything else he wanted to say, determining to find her later. She tilted her head at him curiously and then nodded. 

 

“I’m going to head down to Engineering and see if I can be of use there,” she said. Gabe nodded, wishing he could go with her. But he had a mission brief to write and another mission to prepare for. 

 

It turned out that later was three days later. Time seemed to slip away from him faster these days than ever. He found her in Engineering, chattering about some technology he didn’t understand with the Engineering Wonder Twins. He was relieved to see her more relaxed than her first day on the ship. 

 

“Shepard,” she said. “How are you?”

 

“I’m good.” Gabe leaned a hip against the consol and crossed his arms. It was a move he made without really thinking - one he’d made hundreds of times before. To him, in had been only a few months since he’d come down to Engineering to talk with Tali, but to her, it had been more than two years. He saw her stiffen for just a moment before relaxing again. “You have time to talk?”

 

“Of course.” She said, her smile just barely visible behind her mask. “I heard from Reager - he made it back to the Fleet alive. He has an infection but its not to serious. Thank you, Shepard, for keeping him out of the fighting; for keeping him safe.” 

 

“I’m glad he’ll be okay.” Gabe kept his voice quiet. There was enough noise here to keep the dynamic duo from over-hearing but he still didn’t want to risk it. “How are you doing - adjusting to the new ship?”

 

He saw her glowing eyes flicker sideways to the other side of the room for a moment before returning to him. She didn’t answer right away but when she did, her voice was low too. Gabe had to lean a bit closer to hear her. 

 

“I’m still adjusting to the quiet, but everyone has been polite so far,” she said, clearly choosing her words carefully. “I miss the old fact though. Presley. Engineer Adams. It doesn’t seem...having Cerberus in charge of this ship. Are you sure working for them is the right thing?”

 

Gabe shook his head with a sigh. 

 

“No,” he admitted quietly. “But I tried everything else. The Alliance doesn’t want me back. The Council only let me keep my Spectre status if I promised to stay in the Terminus System. No one has done anything about the Reapers. And they’re still coming, Tali. The Collectors - they’re connected to the Reapers somehow. I know it. Cerberus were the only ones willing to provide the support I needed to go after them. So no, I’m not sure working with them is the right thing. It was just...the only thing I could do.”

 

A small, gloved hand reached out and squeezed his arm gently. Gabe’s heard pounded at the touch; his skin burning where her hand stayed for just a moment too long. 

 

“I didn’t mean to upset you,” she said softly. Gabe shook his head. 

 

“You didn’t upset me, Tal.” He smiled at her to reassure her. “Honestly, I feel a million times better now that you’re here. I had Joker and Doc here from the beginning; Garrus not too long after that. But having you here...it feels more complete.”

 

“I…” Tali dropped her head for a moment, wringing her hands together. Gabe learned long ago that she needed time to get something thoughts out; needed time to figure out how to say things that were important. So he waited, the importance of the moment growing heavier as the moment’s ticked by. “I missed you, Shepard. I...not coming with you on Freedom’s Progress was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I wanted to so badly…”

 

“Hey,” he said when her words choked off. Without thinking about who was watching, he reached out and took her gently by the shoulders. “You had a commitment to keep. I understood that.”

 

Tali nodded and looked down at the floor again. 

 

“It’s good to be back,” she said so quietly Gabe could barely hear her. When she looked up at him again, he could feel her eyes boring into him. “It’s good to have you back.”

 

He could tell there was something else she wanted to say; something hanging between them. But he knew that she would tell him when she was ready. So he smiled and squeezed her shoulders before letting go. 

 

“It’s good to be back,” he said, keeping his tone light. He would have preferred to stay down here all day, but Miranda had messaged him as he stepped off the elevator, asking for him to come to her office. He’d probably kept her waiting long enough. “I’ve got to go talk to Miranda. Meet you in the mess for dinner?”

 

Tali nodded and Shepard took his leave, feeling better than he had in months. Tali was on-board the Normandy; she was okay; they were okay. He’d been a bit worried after the other day in the com room and was relieved that she wasn’t angry with him. That she hadn’t accused him of betraying anyone; not like Ash. 

 

He smiled at  Kelly on his way to Miranda’s office. 

 

But all his cheerfulness evaporated when the door slid open and he saw the man standing next to Miranda in the middle of the room. 

 

He looked just like he had the last time Gabe had seen him; minutes before the Blitz - the attack that killed their entire team. 

His hair was longer now - hanging loosely around his narrow, chiseled face. Dark brown eyes met his and one corner of his mouth raised in an old, familiar, sly smile that made Gabe’s stomach clench and rage roll through him. 

 

“Kai Leng,” Gabe growled, the anger in his voice making Miranda’s eyes go wide. She didn’t know, then. “What the fuck are you doing on my ship?”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kei Leng is sketchy AF, Miranda shows the first signs of shifting loyalty and Tali always has Shepard's back.

“Gabe Shepard.” Kei’s voice made the hairs on the back of his neck raise. “Long time, no see, my friend.”

 

“We. Are. Not. Friends.” Gabe clenched his fists and looked at Miranda. “What is he doing here?”

 

“The Illusive Man thought Mr. Leng may be a good addition to the team,” she said slowly, her eyes fixed on Gabe’s face. “But he failed to mention to me that you two knew each other.”

 

Gabe shook with anger. He hadn’t seen Kei Leng since the Blitz; since he’d disappeared minutes before the attack. The Alliance had listed him as dead and never asked questions but Gabe knew differently. He’d seen him sneak onto a shuttle, assuming he’d met some girl. When months passed without any word from Kei, Gabe grew suspicious. 

 

“We were best friends once,” Kei drawled on in his overly casual voice. He’d always spoken like that; like he couldn’t be bothered to care. Gabe used to believe it was a front; that underneath the nonchalance, Kei believed in his duty, in loyalty to his comrades, in what they fought for. It wasn’t until after their entire team was dead that he’d realized that Kei only ever cared for himself. “All through basic. Served on the same team. We were inseparable.”

 

“Until you abandoned us on Elysium,” Gabe growled. He didn’t dare move or he’d start a fight right there. Miranda’s eyes kept flickering nervously between the two of them. She clearly had no idea what was going on. This was the first time Gabe had ever seen her unsure. And Kei, that fucking bastard, smirked at him. 

 

“Don’t you want to know what happened, Shepard?” Kei teased. “Don’t you want to know why?”

 

“I already know what happened, Leng. And it doesn’t matter why. You weren’t there when your team needed you and they all died. Nothing you can ever say will make up for that.” Gabe looked at MIrand. “I don’t give a fuck what the Illusive Man wants. He has exactly two minutes to get off my ship before I kill him.”

 

“Yes,” Miranda didn’t hesitate, but her words were still careful. “I think it best that you leave Kei. I’ll take care of letting the Illusive Man know.”

 

That bastard had the nerve to shrug casually and saunter out of the room. As he passed Gabe, Kei’s shoulder brushed his. 

 

“I’ll be seeing you around,” Kei whispered with a chuckle. It took more self-control he’d ever needed to not turn around and beat the shit out of him. The only reason he didn’t was because he didn’t need an uproar with the crew. If they had been anywhere else...anywhere. That’s probably why the Illusive Man had sent him to the ship.

 

Behind him, he heard the door to Miranda’s office slide open. 

 

“Shepard?” Tali’s voice soothed some of his nerves, but he still couldn’t move from his spot. He waited, the sound of her footsteps approaching until the door slid closed again. 

 

“What the hell, Miranda?” Gabe almost shouted. To her credit, the Cerberus agent looked thoroughly sheepish. She shook her head, stepping out from behind her desk and approaching him just as Tali stopped as his side. 

 

“I honestly didn’t know, Shepard,” Miranda explained pleadingly. “I received a transmission from the Illusive Man shortly before Kei’s shuttle hailed us.”

 

“Why wasn’t I notified about a shuttle docking with my ship?” He demanded. 

 

“It was a Cerberus shuttle and this is a Cerberus ship.” Miranda’s words were slow again like she knew Gabe was not going to like the reasoning. “I didn’t know, Shepard. I swear I didn’t. I know a lot about Cerberus, but the Illusive Man keeps his top agents compartmentalized. I know Leng but not much about him. I certainly didn’t know he was Alliance before this, much less a member of the team you lost on Elysium.”

 

“He what?” Tali asked. “Shepard, what happened.” 

 

“He was part of my team,” Gabe explained, trying to get his temper under control. “The one I lost on Elysium.”

 

“I...I thought you lost all of them,” Tali whispered. 

 

“I did.” He pulled in three long breaths through his nose. “Kei and I were best friends all through basic and then served together for several years after that. He was always getting into trouble - never enough to get court-martialed, but enough that he kept getting passed over for promotions. By the time we were on leave on Elysium, he’d pulled away. There was talk of me getting N7 and, even though he never said it, he was jealous.

 

“I saw him get on a shuttle just minutes before the attack. I figured he was up to something but had long ago stopped trying to stop him. And then the attack happened. Kei was counted among the dead but he was never found. I knew he was alive but after weeks of not hearing from him, I grew suspicious.

 

“Months of investigating led to the discovery that he’d gotten involved in smuggling Alliance weapons to the Batarians. And then he double-crossed them. They were looking for him when they came to Elysium. He’s the reason for the attack; he’s the reason they all died.”

 

By the time he was done, this throat was so tight he could barely get the words out. Miranda’s brow was pulled tight, her lips pressed together in an expression he’d learned was deep displeasure. Tali’s hand gripped his arm gently and squeeze. Gabe looked down to see her gazing up at him.

 

“I’m so sorry, Shepard,” she said quietly. After holding his gaze for a few moments, she looked at Miranda. “How could you let him on this ship?”

 

Miranda shook her head. 

 

“I didn’t know. I swear to you, Shepard. I thought it was odd that the Illusive Man would send him. I can’t figure out why…”

 

“It was a test,” Tali snapped out. “He wanted to see how Shepard would respond; where his loyalties lie. It was manipulation, pure and simple. And it’s despicable.” 

 

The heat and passion in Tali’s words warmed Gabe’s heart. He wasn’t used to other people standing up for him so adamantly. 

 

“It’s okay, Tal,” he said quietly. And the Quarian actually stomped her foot. 

 

“It is not!” She nearly shouted. 

 

“She’s right,” Miranda admitted, her voice soft but sure. “It won’t happen again. This is your ship, your mission, Shepard. I didn’t put in two years worth of work just to have you yanked around. Any arrivals on the ship, any suggested additions to the team, they’ll all come through you from now on. You have my word.”

 

Of all the things the woman had done and said since he’d woken up, this did more than any of them to win his trust. Gabe knew people; knew when they meant what they said and Miranda did. She was unhappy with the Illusive Man and she admitted to making a mistake. It was the first time she’d even come close to that. Maybe there was hope for her yet. 

 

Still, Gabe didn’t want to talk about it anymore. He just nodded and turned to leave, Tali still gripping his arm until they stepped out into the CIC. Neither of them said a word as they made their way to Gabe’s station. Keeping his voice low, he looked down at her again. 

 

“Thank you,” he said. “For standing up for me.”

 

Tali tipped her head to the side in a movement he’d learned to recognize as amusement. 

 

“I will always stand up for you, Shepard. Just as you always stand up for me. Does this surprise you?”

 

Gabe’s heart pounded in his chest at her words. She was so unflinchingly loyal. God, he has missed her presence so much. 

 

“No. It’s just been a while since I had so much support. Every day around here has been a struggle. Even with Doc and Garrus and Joker…it just wasn’t the same without you.” He paused for a moment, swallowing hard. “I missed you, Tali.”

 

She ducked her head in embarrassment and then raised it just enough to glance up at him shyly. He wasn’t sure when he’d learned to read her non-verbals so well but even after all this time apart, he could still understand her without being able to see her face.

 

“I missed you too, Shepard,” she said softly. “More than I ever imagined I could.”


End file.
